Happiness and Others

Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket....

Everyone points to the other man, who, according to him, is happier. But the only one, who has the courage to declare that he is truly happy, is he who has relinquished all his passions and hungers from within.
-- Swami Chinmayananda

I came across this wonderful message while browsing Times of India. Liked it and felt like sharing it. What prompted me into quick action was the connection that I felt with first line of the quote. It is absolutely truthful that consciously or unconsciously, most of us tend to equip others with the key to our happiness. Thoughts like, ‘What others will think about me’, ‘Will they think bad if I do this’, ‘Will he like this dress’ etc, give rise to anxiety and fear of being rejected. At times, we tend to elude ourselves by denying this fact. But in reality it keeps on dwelling inside, slowly to come up again without the knowledge of our conscious mind. Because the truth is everybody desires to be accepted, appreciated and liked by his or her sphere of society.

Sometimes, we become so much engrossed in these thoughts that we forget that the real source of happiness lies within us not with people surrounding us. Having said this, I don’t intend to imply that one should stop listening to others or behave as if there is only one soul left on this planet. We must respect and regard others opinions and point of views. But at the same time, it is extremely important to understand the subtle but substantial difference between flattery & true appreciation, between sincere criticism & disparaging words and between positive and negative influences. If we succeed in keeping a balanced approach, then the quotient of happiness lying in our hands will be much much higher.