Saturday, July 03, 2010

Two years of Irony

The clock had struck twelve and officially a new day had begun – 30th June 2010. Exactly two years ago, I was being inducted into TCS in an Initial Learning Programme (ILP) at Trivandrum. A week into the programme and realization of my mistakes had struck me. It was shocking, frustrating and confusing to find myself in a place where i thought I would never go. But there was no time to waste or to brood over past. I had to move on and pessimism had to go to make room for hope and optimism. Thus, a plan was in put action that would make sure an early and successful exit from TCS. Plan was an unambiguous one and all efforts to make it successful were unadulterated and synchronized. But the results were ironical. The exit strategy was supposed to work but it did not. Consequently, I found myself in TCS after two ironical years.

Looking back, I do see a lot of anguish, pain and hopelessness in these two years. I find it hard to remember the number of times I felt like a loser. Perhaps it was a reality check. But it does not matter anymore. Whatever it was, the good it has done must be taken into account e.g. I never knew I had the courage to go on and on even after feeling uninspired and I had no idea about my ability to fight till the last moment. I had never restrained and disciplined myself so much. These two years have tested me in many aspects and have made me resilient.

Moreover, I have come to a better understanding about what drives me and satisfies me. I do realize that nothing can satisfy me more than a fully exhausting, dedicated effort towards something meaningful even if I don’t get the desired result. The hard work that goes in pursuit of a Goal energizes me and helps in saving me from the negativity that a failure brings with it.

Well, irrefutable fact of life is that the bigger and painful the fiasco is, the more it toughens up you for the game called life. And something called ‘HOPE’ keeps driving you towards a purposeful goal.

Hmmm.. I must sleep now. Once again, I have poured more than I initially set out to do. If I have to recapitulate the whole thing in one line then i would just refer to this dialogue:

“The night is darkest just before the dawn. And the dawn is coming” – The Dark Knight

:) Signing off.


PS: Next time I go to an Interview, I will say that I am passionate about the dialogues of the movies that really captivate me.


Suneetinder Singh Walia said...

first things first- your writing has improved beyond recognition!
The thing about next interview- about quotes and passion- looks like a foolproof idea.. :-) :)
And you didn't write too much. For two dreadful years you poured out too little i guess.
What's great is that this endurance test of sorts hasn't broken you, in fact I think it's only made you stronger! I'm sure you'll come with flying colours very soon. :)

Tarun Gupta said...

Thanks Buddy..
I have realized the improvement in my writing. When i compare my previous posts with recent ones, i do see a vast amount of change. It is also attributed to growth in vocab.
Second, I am not sure when those flying colors will appear, But sooner or later they will..