In a Traffic Jam

Yesterday would have been just another day in my already not-so-happening office life had I were not saved by a lunch party. As usual, the break from office was more than welcome. The food was delicious and Sandeep's witty one liners kept everybody happily occupied. Anyways, this post is not about those one liners or that delicious food, but it is connected with something that happened during the course of my journey back to office.

Having been lived in Gurgaon for more than a year, I don’t get surprised by everyday traffic jams. And same was the case when we got caught in a bad one. Once again, I found Murphy's Law apposite for a Traffic Jam. (Murphy’s Law for Traffic Jam - The row, you just left to get into a seemingly faster one, starts moving faster than the one you just came into). While I was occupied in observing the chaotic system, a friend said, "What's that!!” I turned my neck ninety degrees to my left and witnessed an unexpected scene. For the first time in my life I saw a group of nearly twenty Muslims performing their Namaz in a public place as a single entity in total harmony. It is quite likely that many will find this event a commonplace and mundane one. But to me, it was a symbol of freedom of expression. And what I felt, after watching that scene, is a tough thing to explain. I experienced tranquility amidst all the chaos and a feeling of admiration for those people. In that very moment, that single moment, I felt extremely proud to be living in such a country where all the colors and shades are accepted and respected, where you are free enough to be yourself, where love has been the way of life. I wished to see a world where that harmony will be perpetrated unconditionally.

Well, that was one traffic jam that, for a moment, made me laugh from inside.

Happiness and Others

Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket....

Everyone points to the other man, who, according to him, is happier. But the only one, who has the courage to declare that he is truly happy, is he who has relinquished all his passions and hungers from within.
-- Swami Chinmayananda

I came across this wonderful message while browsing Times of India. Liked it and felt like sharing it. What prompted me into quick action was the connection that I felt with first line of the quote. It is absolutely truthful that consciously or unconsciously, most of us tend to equip others with the key to our happiness. Thoughts like, ‘What others will think about me’, ‘Will they think bad if I do this’, ‘Will he like this dress’ etc, give rise to anxiety and fear of being rejected. At times, we tend to elude ourselves by denying this fact. But in reality it keeps on dwelling inside, slowly to come up again without the knowledge of our conscious mind. Because the truth is everybody desires to be accepted, appreciated and liked by his or her sphere of society.

Sometimes, we become so much engrossed in these thoughts that we forget that the real source of happiness lies within us not with people surrounding us. Having said this, I don’t intend to imply that one should stop listening to others or behave as if there is only one soul left on this planet. We must respect and regard others opinions and point of views. But at the same time, it is extremely important to understand the subtle but substantial difference between flattery & true appreciation, between sincere criticism & disparaging words and between positive and negative influences. If we succeed in keeping a balanced approach, then the quotient of happiness lying in our hands will be much much higher.

I'm Back !!

A LONG HIATUS -- This might be the right phrase to describe my blogging activity since Oct, 2007. Yes, it has been over two years since I last wrote about myself, since I poured my thoughts in here and since I enjoyed writing about a movie that I saw. Come to think of it, I do realize how erratic and ephemeral my blogging has been. I have been too lazy and too busy to write. Moreover, I was entangled in my web of thoughts, frustrated with my present job, apprehensive about my future, uncertain about my career and dreamy about my aspirations. And one can also add some guilt of unfinished tasks and some pity (after a glut of ineffectual results) to already overflowing emotions that I was experiencing. Having said that, I will be doing injustice with myself if project everything as dark. Because happiness can be found even in the darkest of hours and my situation was no way near the darkest.

Surely, the final year at Thapar was a turbulent one but even then it was the most memorable time that I spent with my college friends. The scenes of our last party, those watery eyes and a deep nostalgia still engulf me whenever a thought of that life rambles into my mind. Without a shred of doubt, the college time is the best and the most happening time of one’s life.

The transition from college to job happened all too fast for my liking and I found myself in Trivandrum, for Initial learning program of TCS. Undoubtedly, it was really an amazing and delightful experience to travel and explore Kerala. Trip to Munar and Kerala backwaters, late night stay at TCS to complete tasks for EC-2, Dancing in a TCS bus on south Indian songs and enjoying company of some really good friends are some of the most cherished memories of my ILP. But life was never the same after ILP.

Ever since ILP, I found myself in a race with life. Each and every day, only one thought traversed my mind and I was too full with it to realize slow recession of happiness from my life. All I wanted was the misery of a Job at TCS to end as soon as possible into a fruitful career path. What exactly constitutes a fruitful career path is a question that still haunts me. Its answer eludes me all the time. After many unsuccessful attempts at getting into a foreign university for either MS or PhD in Biotechnology, I finally decided to bid farewell to the idea that clogged my mind for all the time since I joined TCS. I am still unsure that whether it was my passion and love for Biotechnology or my hatred for IT sector that motivated me to pursue this idea. Whatever the reason was, I did give my best shot at it and when all those doors slammed shut before my eyes, I realized that it’s a break up that I must get over with as soon as possible. So as of now, I am planning to shift to contingency plan A i.e. MBA. This is motivated by the fact that I got calls from IIMB and IIMS on the basis of my strong academic background. The results for the same are still awaited.

During the past two years of my life, I have been through some tough lessons and realizations. Some of those shattered me to my core, changed my perspective of life. And all the chaos that ensued in my life made me believe that most of our apprehensions come from our desire to control our future, from efforts to control our little sphere. On the contrary, there is so much that a mere mortal like me cannot understand and the best thing to do is just to give his best without worrying about the result or consequences. And it is extremely important to be flexible enough to accept change because the only permanent thing in life is change. Well, it is so easy to put these thoughts into writing but their true essence lies in practice, something at which I find myself quite inconsistent. I just hope that with time and with some meditation, I can put these lovely thoughts into action more often.

That’s it from me in my come back post. I have scribbled more than I expected. Bye.

PS: I read my previous posts today and cherished them as the gifts life bestowed upon me.