A LONG HIATUS -- This might be the right phrase to describe my blogging activity since Oct, 2007. Yes, it has been over two years since I last wrote about myself, since I poured my thoughts in here and since I enjoyed writing about a movie that I saw. Come to think of it, I do realize how erratic and ephemeral my blogging has been. I have been too lazy and too busy to write. Moreover, I was entangled in my web of thoughts, frustrated with my present job, apprehensive about my future, uncertain about my career and dreamy about my aspirations. And one can also add some guilt of unfinished tasks and some pity (after a glut of ineffectual results) to already overflowing emotions that I was experiencing. Having said that, I will be doing injustice with myself if project everything as dark. Because happiness can be found even in the darkest of hours and my situation was no way near the darkest.
Surely, the final year at Thapar was a turbulent one but even then it was the most memorable time that I spent with my college friends. The scenes of our last party, those watery eyes and a deep nostalgia still engulf me whenever a thought of that life rambles into my mind. Without a shred of doubt, the college time is the best and the most happening time of one’s life.
The transition from college to job happened all too fast for my liking and I found myself in Trivandrum, for Initial learning program of TCS. Undoubtedly, it was really an amazing and delightful experience to travel and explore Kerala. Trip to Munar and Kerala backwaters, late night stay at TCS to complete tasks for EC-2, Dancing in a TCS bus on south Indian songs and enjoying company of some really good friends are some of the most cherished memories of my ILP. But life was never the same after ILP.
Ever since ILP, I found myself in a race with life. Each and every day, only one thought traversed my mind and I was too full with it to realize slow recession of happiness from my life. All I wanted was the misery of a Job at TCS to end as soon as possible into a fruitful career path. What exactly constitutes a fruitful career path is a question that still haunts me. Its answer eludes me all the time. After many unsuccessful attempts at getting into a foreign university for either MS or PhD in Biotechnology, I finally decided to bid farewell to the idea that clogged my mind for all the time since I joined TCS. I am still unsure that whether it was my passion and love for Biotechnology or my hatred for IT sector that motivated me to pursue this idea. Whatever the reason was, I did give my best shot at it and when all those doors slammed shut before my eyes, I realized that it’s a break up that I must get over with as soon as possible. So as of now, I am planning to shift to contingency plan A i.e. MBA. This is motivated by the fact that I got calls from IIMB and IIMS on the basis of my strong academic background. The results for the same are still awaited.
During the past two years of my life, I have been through some tough lessons and realizations. Some of those shattered me to my core, changed my perspective of life. And all the chaos that ensued in my life made me believe that most of our apprehensions come from our desire to control our future, from efforts to control our little sphere. On the contrary, there is so much that a mere mortal like me cannot understand and the best thing to do is just to give his best without worrying about the result or consequences. And it is extremely important to be flexible enough to accept change because the only permanent thing in life is change. Well, it is so easy to put these thoughts into writing but their true essence lies in practice, something at which I find myself quite inconsistent. I just hope that with time and with some meditation, I can put these lovely thoughts into action more often.
That’s it from me in my come back post. I have scribbled more than I expected. Bye.
PS: I read my previous posts today and cherished them as the gifts life bestowed upon me.